I don't feel like I have ever really committed to writing. I've said I am. I've put put my life in motion to "write". But somehow things have been in my way... or I've always taken on too much...I have always had to do "this" before I could do "that".
As I commit to writing, I feel the resistance from people around me. I don't know how to balance what it is I need to do. How much I need to focus on what I'm trying to accomplish. I feel that I'm cutting myself away from relationships to accomplish the above goal. People are generally supportive, but they really don't know what it is you are going through. So no matter how much you try to explain, in essence....I'm doing "this" before I do "that". My dad created things. I always considered him a workaholic. He was a very intelligent man. His mind never shut off. I blamed it on him being a workaholic, but now I realize he was creating and he stayed in that depth. Multitasking took him away from his task at hand. I remember him telling me that many problems were solved while he was sleeping. Whatever he dreamed up, he did. It is not easy for some people to have relationships with these kinds of people. but for them to accomplish what is in their head.... they need to cut themselves off. This is what is making sense to me anyway.
Upon reading "Save The Cat" by Blake Snyder (a screenplay "how to" writing book), he explains what I am going through. Ah Ha! This is when I realize what I'm going through is real.
"While you go off and start writing your screenplay, we'll be waiting for you and rooting you on. We'll be the guy up on the dock that feeds the oxygen tube down to you, the deep-sea diver, as you descend into the depths of your subconscious mind. Make sure that in your life you too have similar support from friends and loved ones. Because as you drop into the depths of your story, trying to capture the thoughts and the feelings you need to accomplish your mission, you have to trust that those up in the real world are supporting you and are watching you back. It's weird down there! You'll see all manner, of wondrous and strange things, be amazed by what you're capable of handling, and surprised by how great an experience it can be. But it's also dangerous; doubt and anxiety will plague you, and, like the bends, it will cause you to see fearful things that aren't even there. In order to get through to THE END you've got to have someone back on land that you trust, that's supporting and nurturing your effort.
Whether you have that situation in your life or not, we'll be up on the dock waiting for you. And wishing you well. We who write screenplays want to see you win, and win big time, and we know exactly what you're going through down there and want you not to worry. So as you descend into the murk, as ready as you'll ever be, we wish you good hunting."